Mathematical Mishap

           Attending a new school is frightening for students of all ages, grade levels, and academic abilities.  My sophomore year of high school I made this challenging transition, switching from Hamilton High School to Chandler High School.  Though there were many struggles that I faced when encountering this new environment, one of my biggest trials existed in my math class.  Prior to this point I had always been talented in this subject area, and even placed in a gifted program for my outstanding problem solving skills.  When I switched to Chandler High School, however, my victorious mathematical past came to a screeching halt.  My sophomore year, I was placed in a higher math class than I was supposed to progress to.  This is where my struggles began.

           The first day of class was completely overwhelming.  We began with a review of mathematical concepts that we were supposed to already have mastered when entering the class.  As I listened to the teacher, *Mrs. Grumpy, lecture, I grew weary as many of the topics reviewed were unknown to me.  Because of this, I began to feel even more uncomfortable around my new and unknown peers, for they seemed to know the subjects addressed extremely well.  Never the less, I was persistent to understand and grow, so I had a friend of my family that is a retired math teacher guide me through the first homework assignment.  When I was finished, I was exhausted and glad that the day was over. 

           Unfortunately, day two ran very similar to day one.  I listened in class and took notes rigorously, but I still felt lost and confused.  Regardless of my lack of knowledge, I decided to try and complete my dreaded homework assignment alone for the first time.  After a long night of frustration and tears, I finally finished.  Sadly, after all of my hard work, I received a poor grade on the assignment.  It was after this crush to my self-esteem that I realized I needed teacher tutoring in order to fix my problem.  I wanted to receive help and not take the easy way out by dropping the class.  Therefore, I went to my math classroom before school to ask for help from Mrs. Grumpy.  Yearning for assistance and understanding, I planed on spending the entire morning listening to her guide me towards mathematical success.  To my surprise, when I asked her for help, she gave me little instruction.  Mrs. Grumpy seemed annoyed by my company, and I left her classroom with no hope.

           Even after Mrs. Grumpy’s disregard to my struggles, I kept trying to keep up with the other students, but I kept falling further and further behind.  My few additional visits to Mrs. Grumpy outside of class were useless.  I could tell that she did not care about my academic success, so I made an appointment with my school counselor for a schedule change.  The next day, I went to the math class I was originally supposed to take, and I felt much more at home.  I could finally keep up with my peers and my teacher was kind and considerate to my needs.

           The week that I spent in Mrs. Grumpy’s Class was a definite challenge for me.  Prior to that point I had not been behind my peers in really any subject, especially math.  I felt insecure with my self, my self-confidence decreased, and I was embarrassed of my failures.  Being in a new school enhanced all of these feelings because I only had one friend, and no one to turn to.  All of these challenges wore me out!

           The part about my experience that upsets me the most is that my teacher, Mrs. Grumpy was so impatient and unkind to me when I really needed someone to lean on.  Evidence of my struggles could have been seen through many ways:  my poor homework scores, my lack of participation, and the constant blank stare upon my face.  She should have been more willing to help me out because I was determined to succeed, but my drive soon escaped when she did not believe in me.  Her neglect to my needs affected my mathematical outlook permanently.  Though I am still good at math, I do not enjoy it like I used to.  Math was my favorite subject, but now I dread the thought of sitting down with a math worksheet.

           This experience has influenced my teaching philosophy greatly, for when I am a teacher, I never want one of my students to feel embarrassed and dumb like I did.  I believe that teachers make a huge impact in their student’s educational achievements.  Therefore, when I notice a problem with my student’s academics, I will talk to them individually and assist them in any way that I can so that they will know that I have a goal for them to succeed.  If a students comes and asks me for help I will not act annoyed, even if I have other work to accomplish.  If necessary, I will assign buddies to my struggling students to help them understand new concepts in class; this way my students will be less lost and confused while learning.  There are many ways that teachers can influence their student’s success if they simply care. 

           Being in the uncomfortable mathematical setting that I was in was a challenge, but I learned how to treat my future students when they are struggling and need encouragement.  Trails always bring about rewards, and through the trial I encountered in my sophomore math class, I can understand my students better who are learning disabled.  The feelings of frustration, embarrassment, and exhaustion that I felt in Mrs. Grumpy’s class may be feelings that learning disabled students struggle with everyday.  Thankfully, I know how if feels to be behind in school, and I will do all that I can to make all of my students know that they are smart and worthy of success, for each child deserves confidence in their future.

* Name has been changed.

Graphic:  http://www.clipartheaven.com/clipart/education_&_schools