“We do not learn from experience...
we learn from reflecting on experience.”
― John Dewey

The first week of my Summer Scholars experience consisted of completing the construction of my survey, obtaining IRB approval, and creating the survey in Qualtrics. This experience was one of many eye-opening opportunities throughout my Summer Scholars' project that allowed me to take what I had learned through classes and gain hands-on experience by utilizing this knowledge as an independent researcher. A class requirement for the psychology major Methods of Testing and Assessment, where we learn how to create good survey items and avoid biases. I was able to take the insight I learned in that class on how to write an item and apply them to those that were included in my survey. Using Qualtrics was one of my first challenges, because I was unfamiliar with the program. I overcame this obstacle by utilizing my faculty advisor's knowledge and experience with Qualtrics as well as my unrelenting curiosity about what every single button did  to help me learn the functions I needed to create a randomized survey with multiple choice, short answer, and Likert-type questions. 

Once my survey was completed and we had obtained IRB approval, the next few weeks consisted mainly of recruitment. I invested almost all of my time in recruitment. At times, it was very discouraging. I sent e-mails to over 100 people and, by the end of two weeks, only about 20 people had even opened my survey. Instead of giving into my frustrations, I talked through some recruitment strategies with my mentor and read about them in the literature. I utilized the snowballing technique and built a Facebook page specifically dedicated to my project in order to contact more people through a different medium. I was constantly sending follow-up e-mails and exchanging Facebook messages with leaders of support groups. It was times like these when I realized that it was important to focus on the small successes, instead of the giant unsuccessful outcomes, to keep me going. For example, a day after I had spent hours e-mailing administrators of different chapters of the ALS Association across the United States, a woman sent me a message back expressing her delight at my interest and stating how important this kind of research is for caregivers and patients alike. I thought it was amazing that this woman who had had so much more experience than me and was acting as an administrator to help the very population I was interested in would tell me that I'm doing important things. Admittedly, at times I felt overwhelmed and dejected with how much recruitment (and consecutive silences) this project entailed, I got butterflies in my stomach every time I saw that my survey had even just one new response. I am very grateful there are people who take not only undergraduate research seriously, but who can understand how important my topic of research is as well. 

Recruitment took up a large portion of my time while I was in Ithaca, and we halted our efforts once we felt as though we had exhausted our resources. This was when I had to return home unexpectedly. While I waited for responses and was trying to navigate my own emotions throughout my personal family emergency, I found it cathartic to delve into the literature surrounding this topic. As I have previously mentioned, there is not much research on the children of ALS patients or on children as caregivers of ALS patients, so it was interesting to educate myself more on the studies of distress felt by caregivers and support they received in order to apply it to my own population. As the summer went on, the number of e-mail and survey responses dwindled than they had within the first few weeks of starting my project, and I started to feel a bit disappointed. However, after talking with my mentor, we realized that our number, though lower than we aimed for, was a success due to the uniqueness of the population we were surveying. 

At the moment, we are beginning the data analysis phase of my research project. I am feeling anxious and excited to begin analyzing the data we have spent the summer collecting. Though I have a few hypotheses, I am not necessarily worried about finding data that supports them. I am more interested in carrying out the analyses with an open-minded perspective and to see what our survey will show us. I am continuing my project throughout the semester as an independent study in the psychology department. Even if my results do not necessarily support my hypotheses, I'm still excited to learn from this data. I think this perspective is very important. I believe that our research should be driven by the needs of the field, and our practice in the field should be driven by the research. It is very humbling and exciting to be able to be a part of this relationship. I am anxious to begin data analysis, because, although I excelled in Statistics and I work with it on a regular basis through my research team, I am not as confident and I would like to be when it comes to running and analyzing analyses. That being said, I am very fortunate to be able to work with SPSS as much as I do through my research team because, while it is still terrifying, it is more like a friendly monster under your bed to me than the unknown bump in the dark. Though I am still anxious about running analyses, I am happy that I have had the opportunity to work with hands-on data and results that do not always represent what you had planned. I am very excited to add this knowledge and confidence to my experience and become a stronger student and researcher because of it. I know there will be a lot of kinks in data analysis and while carrying out statistical tests, and I am grateful I will have my advisor to help me when I get stuck. 

Throughout all of these stages my research has gone through, I have learned so much about what it means to be an independent researcher and have expanded my knowledge of what it takes to be a good one. I have learned many recruitment strategies: the highs and lows associated with reaching out to potential participants and how to effectively use Qualtrics. I have been able to apply what I have learned in my classes to what I am doing in the field and I am about to strengthen my skills in data analysis. These are all experiences I would have not otherwise gained during my time as an undergraduate. In addition to gaining confidence and knowledge in these strategies and techniques, I have also learned a lot about the research experience as a whole and what it means to be a researcher. I have gained new respect for the professors in the psychology department, as all of them have had to engage in research throughout their careers, and the professors who are leading our research teams are constantly engaged in ongoing research projects. There will always be obstacles to overcome and disappointments to figure out, but it is important to celebrate the small victories along the way and never lose sight of the passion and drive that led you to conduct the research you are working on.

After having to return home, I am excited to be able to continue and expand my project over the course of this Fall Semester. Though leaving Ithaca was unexpected, I feel as though I laid the groundwork for a successful continuation of my research. I am proud of my survey and the responses I gained, and I plan on continuing to work hard to build off of this foundation and accomplish bigger things. I am grateful that I had a portion of the summer to focus on this research. Having many weeks to invest my full attention into something I am so passionate about was incredible and eye-opening. For me, it confirmed that the topics I am researching are those I want to and can focus all my attention on. I enjoyed having full days to focus only on my own research, as opposed to working on projects during the semester when my mind is trying to focus on fifteen different things that require my attention all at once. It was less stressful and I feel as though I was better able to fully connect with and reflect on these issues I had experienced, read about, and wanted to help change. 
As I head into my senior year, I am fearful that I will not have all of the time I want to fully invest in my research, especially because I am so passionate about it. I plan on continuing to make myself proud of the work I am doing, and do not want to see myself cutting corners because I am overwhelmed or feeling stressed by the rest of the demand and expectations any semester brings (but senior year, especially). I will continue to remember why this research is so important to me, so I do not let this work fall by the wayside. Additionally, having many weeks throughout the summer to set the groundwork for this semester will prove to be very helpful and help me to start back up where I left off. Instead of having all day every day to work on this project, I will need to schedule time to work on it. It is my hope that this will make me productive and take full advantage of the time that I get to invest myself in something I care about so deeply. Without a doubt, I will miss being able to invest all of my time and energy into this project, but I am grateful that the psychology department is going to give me credit hours to continue my work on it. 
 

Throughout the course of the summer, my faculty advisor would give me reflection questions to answer in a narrative format. These questions encouraged me to reflect on how I thought the project was going by that point, what I was doing, what I needed to do in the future, what I thought should change, and what I thought was going well. She would also ask me questions that encouraged me to think about why I am doing what I was doing and what I wanted to come from this project. Reflecting on questions like those would remind me why I am working so hard and how passionate I am about creating change by taking my research back to a population I am invested in. This was always the most beneficial part of the reflection exercises for me, because I was usually able to navigate through the hard work and stress and grab hold of my excitement and passion that were always present, but would sometimes get masked. Additionally, I was asked some more difficult questions such as thinking of what obstacles I have overcome as well as my fears about the project. Though it is definitely easier to focus on the good you are doing and what you hope to see for the future, it is equally as important to acknowledge potentially adverse outcomes and sticky situations. Thinking deeply and writing about these issues was beneficial for me as a new researcher and my project, because it would help me articulate those worries and work through them as well as find ways to avoid obstacles I could predict. 

Once I sent my mentor my answers to these prompts, she would respond by encouraging me to delve further into areas where I was too vague and challenged me to add more reflection on things I had skipped over (intentionally or unintentionally). Receiving this kind of feedback and follow up questions on my reflections helped me to spend more time in self-reflection as well as the concrete project reflection instead of answering questions from the first few paragraphs that popped into my head. I knew I would not be able to avoid reflecting on things I did not want to think deeply about, such as my fears and worries. Surprisingly to me, being able to touch on those sensitive topics inside my head has shown itself to be a strength in the longer-term. Especially as a researcher, it is equally important to acknowledge and communicate what you are unsure about or fearful of as it is to embrace what has gone well. 

I believe the reflections were a great way to reveal how I was doing and how I was feeling in regard to this project to myself and to my mentor. Because doing research independently is such a new experience for me, reflecting on the process and having the opportunity to get feedback on those reflections was incredibly beneficial. I do not believe I would have been able to grow as much as a researcher or a person if I did not stop to take the time to think deeply and express what I was experiencing. 

I have had Jessye Cohen-Filipic as my go-to advisor for classes (but officially my counseling minor advisor), the faculty advisor for a club I have actively participated in since freshman year and was vice-president of last semester, and I have assisted her as a Laboratory Assistant. Therefore, Jessye has filled many roles in different aspects of my life and adapting to having her as a mentor and someone with whom I work alongside doing research with was not as difficult an adjustment as it may have been if I had worked with faculty who had just been a professor to me. Having a mentor that I was already comfortable with and used to working with was incredibly beneficial for the success of my project. She repeatedly encouraged me to think outside of the box and bask in independence, while never hesitating to help push me in the correct direction or answer and of the questions I needed to ask to get there. I appreciate that we both know how to work collaboratively with one another on important tasks and projects. I was confident that I would have a mentor who was going to be able to serve, not just as a professor, but as a guide and a resource as I entered into this Summer Scholars experience. Before I had to unexpectedly return home, Jessye and I met at least once per week for around an hour, depending on what needed to get done and the questions I had. However, as I mentioned before, outside of those designated meeting times I had a mentor who was constantly available to me when I needed her, whether that be via text message, e-mail, or in our lab or her office. I liked having official meeting times, but I am grateful for all of the hours outside of those times that we spent communicating about this project. I never thought my faculty advisor was too involved, or not involved enough, and I appreciated her commitment to the project. It was a fantastic opportunity to be able to collaborate with my mentor and I know this project will continue to be successful because of the dedication both of us have invested in it. My biggest advice to future Summer Scholars would be to find a professor that you know you can work with on more than just a professor/student level. Research involves collaboration, good communication, and a good relationship. I can't imagine not being able to have the luxury of these with my mentor. Additionally, I would advise a Summer Scholar who is just as passionate about what you are researching as you are, and who has knowledge that can advance your project. Being mentored by a professional who has those qualities really helped to ensure the success of my project.

As a senior on my way to earning my undergraduate degree, the Summer Scholars experience has helped me gain a better understanding of myself, what I am capable of, and how I can beset apply my strengths to helping those around me. At this point in my life, I do not have a clear plan of what I would like to do. However, being fortunate enough to have had this experience and being able to carry out this research through another semester has granted me insight about another strength and path I was not aware of: the strength of researching and sticking with an issue I am very passionate about, and being able to contribute to my field through that research. Coming into college, research was not on my mind at all. Ask freshman me if I would be here writing a reflection on this transformative experience, and I would have probably cried and walked the other way. I want to be able to help people. Everyone, ideally, but I understand that isn't plausible. I would like to create something to help those in my population, whether it be a brochure or starting my own support group for children who have parents with ALS. I have learned that research allows you to gain knowledge to then consider a hands-on approach that directly affects those you are concerned with. I would like to continue educating myself on this population and the results of this research may help me choose the best path for myself once I graduate in May.