Firsts and Lasts

I remember last spring thinking about my how it was almost my final year of my undergraduate studies and of all the small “lasts” I will have. That spring, it was my “last” time registering for my fall courses, and foreshadowing I thought of how this fall would consist of my “last” fall in Chicago, my “last” President’s Ball dance, my “last” time being a Peer Advisor for UNIV 101 classrooms. Overwhelmed at the time, I tried to focus solely on my class choices. Remembering I need a course that would fulfill my service learning component, I narrowed my search on LOCUS. Immediately a course titled ELPS 125 struck me; the course was titled “Introduction to Leadership Studies” and instantly I knew I had to take it. It was essentially the “last” class I need to fulfill my college of arts and sciences requirements.

On my “last” first day of fall semester classes, we talked about the service learning and the importance of reflection to grow as leaders. After we discussed the different services sites we had the opportunity to assist at, I researched the three more in depth and realized that Madonna Mission was the site I would like to serve at. Throughout my four years at Loyola, I never had the opportunity to serve locally, so this was an exhilarating “first”. Anxiously, I awaited an e-mail from Peggy, the site coordinator, for after school tutoring. Madonna Mission works with refugee families and provides ESL (English Second Language) tutoring in the mornings, and after school tutoring for the children in the afternoons. As soon as Peggy e-mailed me back, I set up a time to tutor every Thursday afternoon for 14 weeks.

On my first day, I arrived nervously and intentionally early to make a good first impression. Peggy welcomed me with warm arms and showed me around the room. She explained that Madonna Missions objective was to help these students transition to the American education system by providing support and academic tutoring. I picked up a purple marker, wrote my name on my nametag, added a smiley face to create an inviting persona, and stood at the door waiting for students to arrive. When the doors opened, students flooded in. Naively I assumed they were eagerly ready to learn but now looking back, it was probably to play on the computers like all kids want. I remember selfishly wanting to be matched with a small child so I could play fun games with them like kitchen or peek-a-boo. However, I was told to work with Sandrina, and I abided by the request. Sandrina is in the 4th grade and old enough to do her work without my help. Awkwardly, I asked if she needed any help and she responded that she could do it herself. The expectations I had of this perfect “first” day rapidly diminished and I sat there feeling unhelpful.

The minutes passed slower and slower, and I sat there just observing the chaos of this center. Just when I was contemplating the usefulness of my presence, Sandrina asked me if I liked math. Immediately, I perked up in my seat and started spewing everything about myself, how I was a math major, how I want to get my PhD in statistics. She responded like any other 4th grader and asked “okay then… can you help me with my math homework?” I looked over her multiplication homework and used all of the tutoring strategies I had from working at Kumon and from teaching the UNIV 101 courses. We made a single connection from my “first” conversation with her about math, and I became her tutor for the rest of the semester. Every week following, I worked with Sandrina. I gauged her understanding of math and worked to her strengths as a visual learner by writing math problems on the white boards with her. I worked with her not only as a student, but a person as “first”. We talked about Halloween, and I remember her explaining how back home they didn’t celebrate Halloween and she was excited to get candy this year. We exchanged funny stories on what it was like having annoying brothers, how school uniforms are the worst, and math is basically the best class. Our conversations were not always as light-hearted. We talked about why she was forced to flee with her family, we talked about the effects of our new President-Elect and what that means for her and her family. She opened up to me and I was not only her tutor but her confidant and friend as well.

As a senior now at Loyola, I have lived and breathed the mission statement many, many times, however this is the “first” written reflection I have had regarding the action I have taken in society. Through my semester of service learning, I actively expanded my own knowledge by engaging in dialogue with Sandrina, an individual with very different identities than me. She shared her experiences as a refugee in the United States and she expanded my awareness of the challenges many individuals in the Rogers Park community go through on a daily basis.

Additionally, I believe I expanded Sandrina’s knowledge by forcing her to stay on task, assisting her with what she needed in the moment, and supporting her in all she aspires to do. Peggy and Lynn, who work for Madonna Mission, strongly exemplify what it means to serve humanity through faith and justice by providing the community with a service that is so desperately needed. From in-class conversations with my peers, I was able to stay motivated throughout the semester. I knew that other individuals were working through similar situations and the solidarity I felt within the classroom helped me feel safe. The conversations regarding identity development and the importance of diversity were really helpful for me because it allowed me to have conversations at Madonna Mission with Sandrina about her own situation. She was more than her single story just as a refugee- she was also a woman of color, an artist, a procrastinator, and someone who became my friend. The intersectionalities we shared helped bring us together, but so did sharing experiences neither of us had in common, and without these conversations in class, I would not have felt empowered to ask her these questions. Through this semester, I have realized I will have plenty of “lasts” here at Loyola University Chicago. However, this course has given me the perspective that I will also have plenty of “firsts” as well. This semester will always be the semester I “first’ served as a tutor in the local community, the “first’ time I learned about leadership through an educational lens, and the “first” experience I had reflecting on what social justice truly looks like and the importance of service learning in leadership. I have already talked to Peggy to continue my work next semester at Madonna Mission for myself and for my students. If I had learned of this minor when I first began, I would immediately add it to my studies. This class has forced me to learn outside of the four walls of the classroom, which is something no other class has allowed me to do. And while these four years may be culminating for me, the path to social justice has just begun and I am grateful to have taken a course that works so strongly to identify and pursue the mission that is engrained in us as Loyola Ramblers.