I have struggled immensely in education; I have felt every type of way about how far it can take me in my life. I remember my decisions in life jumping the fence of failure and success simultaneously. I have always wanted to make more out of my situation, academically, economically, financially, and emotionally. All I knew was that I wanted to get out of the situation I was in, but I didn’t know where that was leading me towards. Trying to escape the confusion of what I could do, what I was allowed to do and what was attainable with my resources was definitely a challenge that I had to get used to. My surroundings including the people, the influences, the establishments, even the nature that inhabited the reality in which I lived in had constructed what I had felt was going to be my future. I had let the society that occupied my understanding, decide how far I could go in life and after a certain time I had lost faith altogether.

As a child I was very responsible especially with my academics. I had made sure that if I could not excel within improving my family's circumstnces I was going to contribute to some form of improvement within myself. I had also been ridiculed to always being the teachers pet. I remember in elementary school I would always raise my hand if I didn't understand something or was confused about something while all my other classmates stayed silent. I would raise my hand for any little question. Yes, it was tiresome especially for the teacher but when it was time to take the test I was the one who was silent and asking no questions, while everyone else was looking around the room with their eyes pleading for help. I had always wanted to shine within some area of my life. I had chosen school, my family life I could not contribute because the struggles that we expereinced were financially. I rememeber finding my mom crying one day in the kitchen around three in the morning. I kept trying to console her but I knew eventually I would begin to cry as well, I knew her pain and her struggles even at a young age. She had told me how much I should value the fact that I get an actual education unlike the mediocre educaiton she received; but most of all she wanted me to understand how lucky I was for being able to speak english to fend of myself.

After the conversation with her in the kitchen the words she told me, stuck with me and allowed me to see the differences wihtin a person who envies the aility to learn and wants to again be in a classroom to have the opportunity to know more. My mom would tell me how much she would have wanted to go abck to school and have responsibilities academically instead of having to deal with bills. As my mom seemed to be very inspirational she also tended to eb very pessimistic when there were times that it seemed her life could not get worse. Unfortunately, I inherited that trait of pessimism, in my highschool career I had entered as a freshman just trying to achieve a highschool diploma somehting that had not been seen among my family. I had no intention to even apply for college because of an infinite lists of reasons which I had compiled and added on to every day I got closer to my senior year.

As I discussed this concern with mentors and friends they looked at me with a look of fear, and disbelief. Others could not believe that I was fighting to achieve greatness in high school with an attempt to stop the minute I got to my high school diploma. But after seeing the ending result of what having no education or not a proper education from my mom's eyes I knew I could keep going. Fortunately for me I got to see into the future to the struggles that would inhabit my life if I were to apply myself and I got to see what that path looks like because of my mom and her battles in life. I now stand in Boston, Massachusetts attending Northeastern University as a Torch Scholar because of the people that stood by me wanting me to succeed.