Reclamation | Ritual | Renewal: Pillars Supported by the Roots of Liberation 

In 1992, I graduated high school from a private, religious school in Scottsdale, Arizona that encouraged female students to take a gendered path of missionary work, marriage, and children. I lived 50 miles away in a “barrio” neighborhood named Maryvale. The barrio is where I learned the skills of survival; skills I still employ to this day. College was never presented to me as an option by my family or teachers. Never. So, I followed the path that was expected, got married months after graduating from high school, and entered the workforce as an entry-level administrative assistant. I was always surrounded by coworkers who had college degrees and academic ambitions. My coworkers encouraged me to take college courses to become a sign language interpreter (something I had dreamed of becoming as a teen). My first attempt down the college path was cut short in 1995 when I gave birth to my daughter and vowed to put my education on hold until she was grown. My daughter turned 25 this year, and I will have fulfilled the promise I made to myself so many years ago.

Prior to recommitting to an academic path, the most valuable lessons I learned were not in a classroom or in a book. Rather, it was through taking chances, creating opportunities, and experiencing the ups and downs of life. Over the years, I’ve opened two successful businesses, stepped into my role as a community rainmaker, holistic sex educator, yoga instructor, and drum circle facilitator, came out of the proverbial “closet” as a lesbian, and raised an independent woman who is on her own academic journey. As accomplished as I was without a degree, I wanted more for myself. I also knew that I wanted to combine the experiences and knowledge I had collected over the years with academic experience. The only way to do this was through an interdisciplinary degree from a liberal arts institution like Prescott College.

In 2013, I began a somatic journey that revealed trauma lying dormant in my body for 40 years. The trauma I uncovered was generational and was due to the direct harm of colonization. I was carrying this trauma in my body for my Indigenous and European ancestors. My academic journey has led me to examine and critique history, context, and narratives with a decolonial, queer, and feminist lens. The lens provides the language of my ancestors’ lived experiences as the oppressed and the oppressor. The language I have gained during my academic journey has shaped my voice which is rooted in liberation and supported by the pillars of reclamation, ritual, and renewal.

The growth in my academic experience over the past seven years has been weaved with a holistic, experiential, and intersectional approach. The intersections of my learning and comprehension have spanned over time. I can recognize examples of this from my childhood as I reflect back on the Spanish Catholic Mass my family attended on Sundays. When I was seven years old, I participated in a ritual-like dance with other children that began the mass. We were adorned in a peacock feather, sun-shaped headdress, vibrant colored robes trimmed in gold, and a glitter-outlined Virgin Mary iron on. As the folkloric music played, we danced up the aisle with our metal maracas. My extensive religious studies courses and the Wilderness and Colonization course at Prescott College provided the insight as to why and how Indigenous (Aztec) rituals filtered into a Catholic mass in Maryvale (Phoenix, Arizona).

In 2018, I experienced a life-changing three-week trip with my daughter to England, Scotland, Ireland, and the Netherlands. The trip combined my learning of pagan and religious studies and colonization by visiting sacred sites, churches, and museums. On the full moon, I participated in a sacred drum circle for women. This was an especially exciting time for the women because abortion became legalized that week. The group had a wonderful exchange of culture that night. I gifted the facilitator with desert sage, and they gifted me with conversation, storytelling, and a perfect view of the moon. The experience with these women helped guide my independent study and research in the Women in Drumming: Ancient & Modern Times course at Prescott College the following year.

In October of 2019, I was humbled by a visit to the Hopi Nation with my classmates in the Wilderness and Colonization course at Prescott College. I experienced a great sense of grief over the weekend as our host shared the history and oppression the Hopi have endured over the centuries. The Hopi experience expanded my awareness of the ecological, physical, psychological, and spiritual impact of colonization. The 2020 Living with Loss: Studies of Grief & Traditions course at Prescott College deepened my understanding of the disenfranchised grief the Hopi have been burdened with for generations. Research related to uranium poisoning on Indigenous lands and disenfranchised grief in the United States supported my thesis that the current state of our mental health care system does not support professionals on how to treat and heal Indigenous people of North America.

The breadth of my liberal arts degree is in communications--an invaluable skill set. Communication skills are not innate and must be learned and practiced. Practicing communication skills increases emotional intelligence, which is essential to the work I facilitate. Often, topics related to colonization elicit emotional and reactive responses from participants. Communication skills have helped me shape my message to expand into diverse audiences. In February 2020, I was invited to speak at the 2020 Drum Circle Facilitator Guild Conference where I presented The History of ‘Playing Indian’ and Performance Culture Consciousnesses, an examination of the history of why and how European-descendant-Americans identify with other cultures other than their own and the ways in which culture performance is perpetuated in drum circles. The combination of my communication skills and the 2019 Prescott College course, Wilderness and Colonization, gave me the tools to lead a successful presentation.

The apex of my scholarship at Prescott College is the senior project, which consists of creating a yoga teacher training program rooted in social justice. My research and application of yoga as a healing modality rooted in liberation and supported by the pillars of reclamation, ritual, and renewal has been guided by Indigenous knowledge and mentorship.  In 2013, I received my yoga teacher certification, whereby I immediately began to teach. I had always felt as though I did not belong as a large-bodied, queer, woman of color, but I really didn’t know why. My spring 2020 courses, Yoga and Social Justice: Exploring the Intersections and History of Yoga and the Impact of Colonization were instrumental in uncovering the history of appropriation, white supremacy, spiritual whitewashing, and commodification of yoga in the United States. In addition to extensive research, I frequently communicated with three Indigenous experts for mentorship and guidance in my research. My mentors have all agreed to monitor my progress and growth as I create the curriculum so desperately needed in the community.

In 2017, I committed to my academic path full-time at Glendale Community College. I decided to take courses that interested me as well as fulfilled the gaps in my education. I wasn’t sure how guitar and tai chi fit into my goals, other than, I wanted to break up my days with somatics and joy. The guitar class sharpened my sedentary brain in preparation for math; I had not been in a math class for 27 years. Tai Chi provided the somatic awareness I needed to alleviate the “math” stress as well as provided cultural awareness to an ancient Chinese practice rooted in liberation and overall well being. When it was time to commit to a Bachelor’s degree, I needed an interdisciplinary path that would weave all of my interests, skills, and passions into something that served my purpose and calling of liberation and wellness. Prescott College provided the autonomy and space I needed to connect guitar, tai chi, religion, sexuality, public speaking, and sign language into a degree that not only uplifts my voice, but also the voice of the communities I touch. 

I have a hunger for knowledge that cannot be satiated. I have only scratched the surface of my generational trauma and healing. My liminal identities as a 46-year old, large-bodied, queer, Indigenous, Latinx, European woman of color has made a space for me as a natural connector, messenger, and community healer. My scholarship does not end here. I am pursuing a Master’s to Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with Specialization in Community, Liberation, Indigenous, and Eco-Psychologies. I seek to deepen my understanding of generational trauma and the impact on the somatic. I am committed to my community, and I will continue to educate, facilitate, and lead holistic, intersectional conversations and experiential learning to liberate the mind, body, and spirit… something we all deserve… even the ones from Maryvale.