"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”― Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC

"Do you know what you're doing next year?" Its the question behind every breath a senior takes, motiviating every action and every thought of senior year. And, I too, am uncertain what the answer will be. I feel as if I am spinning a wheel on a game show...though, I'm not sure any of my options will award me with an all-expense paid cruise to Maui or a new Lexus. Right now, I'm writing my way through a deluge of personal statements and essays, polishing every experience I've had into a tidy package of words. 

I know I want to go to law school and practice as an attorney in the public interest---whether that be in mental health court, women's correctional facilities, or family law, I aspire to work as a legal advocate. Yet, I also hope to take some time for myself between my undergraduater career and grad school so as to allow some space to reflect and discern and further appreciate all that Loyola has given me. I want to challenge myself to be an adult in a 9-5 capacity, learning to take on a role outside of that which I have known for the past 16 years...that of a student. 

Loyola, through my experiences, both in and out of the classroom, has allowed me to feel experiences. That is, it has shown me where I feel most alive and most worthwhile. It has shown me spaces like the Ignatian Family Teach-In for Justice, spaces like my internship with Cabrini Green Legal Aid, that I belong in a vocational sphere in which I am advocating for change through the legal structure. 

Thus, I've realized that when I'm working with clients at CGLA, I desperately wish I could be the one filing the motions on their behald. I find frustratin in the fact that I'm not an attorney...yet. I get excited to read briefs and legal opinions, to pour over laws and how they are interepreted. For lack of a better description, it just feels "right"---as if in that moment, I'm focused solely on the task at hand, nothing else to pull me in another direction. I leave the office feeling like I could stay longer, like I want to stay longer. 

Thus, I have to admit...I don't know, at least not at this time in the year, what exactly is next; however, I can only hope that it is as fulfilling and life giving as the past four years have been!

***Special note on the photo above: This photo is one that I continually find myself looking to when I feel sad or unsure. It was taken at the last year's Weekend of Excellence with some of the most dear women and role models in my life, and it gives me hope for the future. Each of us were there in celebration of ourselves and one another and all the good that we had done throughout the past year. To me, the photo is harmonious....a perfect skyline of happy women, looking eagerly towards the future.