“Can I come in?”

Gerardo Gonzalez had no idea asking his mother for a moment of her time would shape his life forever. He was asking for permission to marry his partner after some self-described very short three months. What followed was divorce and the beginning of his life as a single-father. Despite several hardships, Gerardo has raised three wonderful children and valiantly fought his demons.

In Jalisco, Mexico, Gerardo was devoted to the Church. He thought his calling was in priesthood, but soon realized his heart was elsewhere. Still devout to God, Gerardo served his faith as an Altar boy. Despite not committing to priesthood, Gerardo’s life would be unimaginable without his faith and humility. Many of his friends remember him as “Gerardo of Nazareth” and “El Padrecito” ─ meaning Little Priest.

Life was not without challenges. Gerardo tears up remembering battled his inner temptations of drugs, alcohol, violence, and poverty. After a divorce that set him back financially, Gerardo gave all he had to his three children. Gerardo will never forget sleeping on top of three flattened cardboard boxes, only finding relief because he bought his children a bed. His journey to the United States was financially driven, but Gerardo was running from vices that seemed inescapable.

In the United States, Gerardo was seeking his American Dream, but realized the Dream was difficult to obtain. His first winter in Chicago, Gerardo slept outside. He was depressed, anxious, and wanting happiness. He was exposed to drugs, alcohol, and homelessness in response to his emotional hardships. Despite all of this, Gerardo says his motivation was a song lyric, “Los caminos de la vida no son como yo quería ni como yo pensaba.” It means, “Life’s paths aren’t how I wanted them or how I thought they would be.”

The lyric, however, didn’t stop the hardships from rolling into his life. A fateful phone call to 911 found Gerardo admitting he was suicidal and needed help. Admitted for fifteen days, Gerardo was released in five. His ability to speak and share his story healed him. He reminded us, “a story that’s fifty-eight years long is not easy to re-tell.” Gerardo, however, had practice. Soon after, Gerardo found himself again. He also found community resources and direction.

Gerardo stayed in Little Village because he could. He says it was difficult to leave his children, but his youngest stayed behind with her mother and his other children were engaged, married, or living alone. He compares his children to birds leaving the nest. Gerardo recalls feeling confident because he was helped and supported with his journey to the United States. He sacrificed greatly for his family, and after his divorce he sacrificed greatly for his children. Gerado viewed the United States as a second chance to live and find meaning in himself.

Gerardo’s story reminds us that immigrants are people with complicated and emotional pasts. He reminds us adult immigrants have dreams, desires, and goals that deserve to be listened to. Gerardo also reminds us about the importance of human connection and radical empathy. He says, “I like to talk to people a lot.” In those conversations Gerardo found hope, help, and Taller de Jose. Gerardo continues to be humble, but also feels “very fortunate.” Despite facing homelessness and unemployment, Gerardo insists these struggles are helping him find meaning in life itself.

Ending on Gerardo’s words, “To those who are able to listen…I want to thank you all, because what would become of us in those moments where we want to take our own lives. At the same time, it can be a simple favor for other people that saves them.”

‘Si yo no aprendo a vivir aquí, pus no voy a poder vivir ahí arriba. Por eso ha sido mi lucha.” - Gerardo Gonzalez

-Written by Cristina Nuñez