Zach
Smart, athletic, nice, caring
Sibling of Mike and Nat
Lover of
Who fears
Who needs
Who gives
Who would like to see
Resident of
Bransky
Destroyer of Monkey
One day Tom the monkey was walking home from school. When he got home he discovered that the tree was empty. He found footprints leading out of the house, so he followed them. They led into the woods. Eventually, after following the trail for a long time, he found the dead body of mailman Jim. He heard a rustle in a nearby bush and when he looked over he saw a man holding a thunder stick. He ran and the man chased him. When his terrified sprint led him through a city, a ton of monkeys followed the man, screeching. Then the monkeys caught the man and he was sent to prison. He remained in prison until he escaped and was on the loose again......
The man thought that the monkeys wouldn't recognize him, but they did, so he had to kill witness after witness. Within five minutes of his escape he was the most monkey-wanted man in the world. There was a 1,000,000 -banana reward to any monkey that could catch him, dead or alive. He could hardly leave his ram-shackle shack, even to go to the bathroom or get food and water. Whenever he would leave the shack he would end up killing another few monkeys. Soon his bounty was 2,000,000 bananas, then a few days later 3,000,000 bananas. Sirens were blaring all around his shack, but monkeys, being pee-brains, could never figure out that he wasn't in some tree. They climbed every tree around the shack, but they never thought to look inside.
He had to move from shack to shack, because the shacks would stink horribly. Police monkeys always seemed to be there when he would go outside to move, so he was always looking over his shoulder. His life was horrible.
After a week of this he wanted to be found, but all of the monkeys had forgotten who he was. He turned himself in to the police monkeys, and although they had forgotten him, they agreed to take him in anyway. His life got a little better. He was sentenced to 100 years of being a piniata for young monkeys' parties, and although they were young, they were really strong and good at swinging the spike covered piniata bat.
This why you should never poach. The monkeys have law, and their law always wins.
Albuquerque
I went to Albuquerque for a weekend of swimming. We left on Friday at about 9:30 a.m. on Friday to start the five hour drive to the University of New Mexico. We ate lunch at a subway at about 1:30 in the afternoon. We got to the pool at about 3:00 p.m., even though warm-up didn't start until 4:00. After warm-up I only had one event. The grueling 400 IM. I placed 2nd out of six people. Only me and two other swimmers on my team swam that afternoon, but somehow over twenty people ended up going out to dinner at Applebee's. It seemed like everyone came on Friday but didn't swim. After dinner, we went across the street to our hotel. The room was really small and boring. All there was to do was watch TV, but there were hardly any good channels. It was hard to sleep, because I got the hard cot. I fell asleep at 11:30 p.m. The next morning, I got up at six a.m. I swam five races that day. Three in the morning, and two in the afternoon. I did ok, especially in my 50 fly. Two-hundred breaststroke was in the afternoon. After the 200 breast, we ate dinner at Frontiers, a restaurant right across the street from the pool. It was just me and my coach for a while, because the girl who came down with us went home with the Ulriches, a different family who came to Albuquerque, so she could take a shower. The Ulriches got to the restaurant at 5:30. Me and my coach went back to the hotel. That night I slept really well.
The next morning we ate at the hotel. The food there was pretty good, even though you had to cook it yourself. At the pool I had three events, which included: 100 fly, 100 breast, and 100 free. I did best in 100 fly, with a third place finish, second best in the 100 breast with a fifth place finish, and I did badly in the 100 free with a twelth place finish. After lunch, I saw my individual score; I placed 4th out of 40. We ate lunch at a bout 12:30 at Einstein Bagel Bros. I was supposed to swim in the 200 back, but my coach signed me up too late.
Poems
There once was a man from Peru, who couldn't stop chewing his shoe. He chewed and he chewed until his gums turned red and the shoe tasted bad which stunned that old man from Peru.
There once was a lady of the Nile, who smelled positively vile, until people said, " take a drink" and she said ," no I stink" which angered those people of the Nile.
There once was a man from Australia, who came down with a case of malaria. When they said, "why don't you kick?" He said," because I am sick which got him thrown down the road on a stick.
What Can Go Wrong During a Camping Trip
Most people love camping, because of the time you get to spend outdoors, not having to worry about work or school, sitting around the camp fire, eating smores, seeing wildlife, and getting to see people. This may seem good at first, but eventually things can go wrong.
Most people think of outdoors as a nice, calm refreshing place. Most people also think that it is sunny and welcoming. Although the outdoors can be sunny and nice, it can also be haily, rainy, snowy, or even polluted.
Not having to worry about school and work is nice, until you have to go back to school. Then, you usually get lectured about the work you never did. You could get detention, and the next few days of school are full of extra work.
Sitting around a campfire is good, until the wind starts to blow. At this time, you should just run. Sparks can fly everywhere and smoke will go in your eyes and nose.
Eating smores can be fun. They taste good, and smell really good. This is fun, until a burning piece of marsh mallow is stuck to your finger. The marshmallows can also get stuck in your hair, as my brother found out. Not only do they smell good to people, but they also smell good to bears, and possibly rabid skunks.
Plus, wildlife only comes near you to raid your campsite. Most of the wildlife you will see will be mosquitoes, and if you meet a mountain lion, it probably won't act like Bambi.
Getting to see SOME people is fun, but it usually isn't that good. The nice people you bring along may invite a forest ranger. They don't like you to throw rocks, they prefer to yell, and they get infuriated sometimes, especially if anyone around you acts like a smart-alek. Plus, after a hard tiring camping trip, you don't want a lobster-reddened sun -burnt ranger yelling at you about a camping permit that someone else supposedly got.
I wrote Tom Tasteyburger in about 30 minutes. I chose to write about the fast food bussiness because the person next to me was writing a story about a burger. I chose the character of Tom TasteyBurger from books I have read and movies I have seen. The theme of the story was an obituary, except insteed of an object it was made out of a human. Although death is not usually funny, I made this story a comedy.
The story Brother was made up mostly of real events that happened, most of them envolving my brother and I. I did add a few things to the stories to beef them up. These things were some of my brothers funniest moments. My brother is 7 years old, and enjoys playing soccer.
Author:
Misty V'Marie
Last modified:
5/1/2006 12:28 PM (EDT)
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