The paper below discusses a time in my life where I did not entirely belong. Exceptional learnes can feel out of place on a daily basis, and reflection on my experience has made me realized what they go through.
Can't Reach the High Notes
I have enjoyed singing my entire life. I would sing in church, sing with my family, and even sing in the shower. I decided that I wanted to become a professional singer, even though I knew it was a far fetched dream. When I was eleven, I finally had the opportunity to be part of a musical group at school. It was a great experience and it made me decide to take choir in junior high. I enjoyed being part of an ensemble with other girls my own age that had my same ability. However when I entered high school, life started to change.
Freshman year felt fairly much the same as junior high, but some students began to take private voice lessons. They were beginning to shine brighter, looking more like the stars I wanted to become. During sophomore year, I was in an Advanced Women’s Ensemble. I felt like I was staying at the same level of singing, while everyone else was gradually improving. My very next year in choir, and my last, I was part of the esteemed Highland High School Concert Choir. This group was known for winning numerous awards and participating in various singing events. I was surprised that I was able to sneak into their choir with my average voice.
I would hear the experienced singers hold out notes for long periods of time, hit every note just right, and produce gorgeous overtones that sounded like they were created by angels. I was so intimidated by them. I wondered how I could have mistakenly been mixed in with this wonderful group of talented people. I felt so out of place as everyone seemed to be at a higher level than myself. I did not how I was going to survive in this choir for an entire year.
I would see the other students grasp the attention of my musical directors and I wondered why they did not give me, the struggler, more assistance. I thought if my instructors helped me improve, then the entire choir would benefit. I began to think I was a lost cause and that is why no one would lend a helping hand. I started to lose faith in my ability and did not think I was magnificent at all. I just wanted to quit, but for some reason which I know not, I kept going.
I worked harder than all of the members of my choir group. Instead of moaning about my weaknesses, I decided to make them become strengths. I went home and studied the lyrics of the songs, especially those in another language, and I played my notes on the piano as I sang out the words with all my power. Even though I kept practicing, I was still not up to par with the rest of the group.
I considered moving back down to my old chorus group because I knew I would be the leader of the pack. Everyone there would look up to me as the best in the class, and perhaps I would get all the solos. However, at that moment I became determined to keep going where I was at. I did not have to change choirs to prove to the world I was good. I just needed to prove it to myself.
I was brave and tried out for solos, never made it, but I was proud of myself that I tried, more than I could say for others. I started giving compliments to others, instead of being green with envy because I knew that is what I would want them to do for me. I started to have a positive attitude which completely changed my choir experience. I stayed in Concert Choir the entire year, even traveling to
By this experience, I have learned that no one is perfect. Everyone has their specific strengths and talents. Oftentimes people wish they were like someone else, but that person might be an excellent singer, but how well do they do in school? It is important to be grateful for the skills and talents you have, and to share them with others. I think that many people when they cannot compete with their peers, perhaps in school or sports, might want to move down a level where they are considered the best. Where is the challenge in that? Sometimes someone may have to work harder and longer to achieve the same results as someone else, but the feelings of accomplishment will be well worth it.
I wish I would have asked for assistance to better help me succeed in my music classes. I never once asked the instructors or my peers for assistance. I never asked my mom to let me take voice lessons. I never went out of my way to see if anyone could further my singing. I think it can be hard for someone to ask for help when they are struggling because they might feel embarrassed or ashamed. However, I know that no one can do everything all by themselves. Ever since my experience, I have tried to help others I see who are weaker than I am in singing. I might not be the best, but I might be the best they have to look for guidance.
I may not have taken choir since that year, but I have not stopped singing. I sing anywhere and everywhere I get the chance because I know now not to hide my abilities just because someone out there is better than I. After pondering upon my experiences in choir, I have begun to understand what exceptional learners go through on a daily basis. Sometimes they may not feel they belong and they want to be only with others of their ability. I do not know enough yet to be able to present solutions that can be made regarding this problem: inclusion, separate classes, resource teachers, etc. However, I believe if everyone looked at a moment in their life where they felt like giving up because they did not belong, then perhaps they will begin to comprehend what an exceptional learner goes through.
*Graphics from Big Box of Art CD
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