"I understood enough, just enough about my classroom experiences to keep what I knew repressed, hidden beneath layers of embarrassment" (Rodriguez, 516)

        The Achievement of Desire by Richard Rodriguez depicts the struggle of a man who now in his thirties realizes the primary reason for his success in his academics was that he was constantly reminded that his schooling was changing him and separating him from his family and personal life, before becoming a student. Rodriguez defines the type of student he considers to be when describing his encounter with Richard Hoggart's The Uses of Literacy; he found a description of a "scholarship boy". With the realization that he was not the only one that was struggling with acquiring academic success and dealing with the consequent price, he was able to grasp the meaning of what it meant to shift from opposing environments, classroom and home.

        A problem that Rodriguez acknowledged to being the reason why he is the type of student he was. The constant change within feelings of intimacy he encountered with his family's consolation, mixed with the feeling of alienation differed from the mental calm he was revealed to in school. He felt as if unconsciously he would have to oppose the intense sociability of his Mexican working-class family, for example the living room where mostly every or any task would occur, this would be a custom in which Rodriguez would refrain from being involved in because it interrupted with his love of reading. Throughout the essay Rodriguez shows the many instances that his mother has approached him and asked him “What do you see in your books?”, and one day she asks to read one of his books, which opens Rodriguez’s mind to the possibility that his parents may want to take interest in his passion for reading. Although, later on towards the ending of his essay he expresses disappointment with the way he noticed his mother had not even touched the books past a few mere pages. After this occurrence Rodriguez, states "When he [Rodriguez] brings those books into the house they do not take their place with other books which the family are reading, for often there are none or almost none; his books look, rather, like strange tools." (Rodriguez, 524).  With this quote Rodriguez portrays his feelings of neglect, disregard, and alienation from his family because of the rejection of his passion for reading or just for not being able to accept him for his hunger for education.

       Rodriguez discussed his passion and true desire to succeed beyond any limitations his Mexican heritage or parents attempt at higher education. Rodriguez shows how much he was truly in love with the idea of knowledge and of obtaining information. He asks himself in his essay, "What do I see in my books?" (Rodriguez, 526), he states "I had the idea that they were crucial for my academic success" (Rodriguez, 526). Somehow, the idea that by getting an education and succeeding in that field would acquire him the necessary skills to pull himself out of two walls of academic and family responsibilities.

       Rodriguez describes how much he has learned from books, although an underlying reason for his passion of reading is because he felt it will influence his chances on reaching some sort of success. Although, I believe a major reason for his efforts towards finding academic achievement is because he wants to evade the life his parents have followed. Rodriguez states “I never forgot that schooling had irretrievably changed my family’s life. That knowledge, however, did not weaken ambition. Instead, it strengthened resolve” (Rodriguez, 519). Here, Rodriguez seems to show how he reached “The Achievement of Desire”. Rodriguez seems to propel forward in his academia by following the steps of neglect that his parents seemed to not have fully taken advantage of. He defines his type of student to being a “scholarship boy” which he seems to define as a type of “student” not “son”. He describes in his essay how this scholarship boy “cannot afford to admire his parents”; he seems to have embarrassment towards their lack of education. Rodriguez explains how he seemed to be teaching his parents new things even at second grade. He used to find pleasure that he was able to come home and correct their grammar; he would begin his claim against his parents with “My teacher told us…” (Rodriguez, 519).

       Rodriguez expresses how much he fits the role of this “scholarship boy” by his lack of communication with family members. He spoke more to his classmates and teachers that he did at home. He even extends to portray his experiences with his family during his college visits back home. After Rodriguez’s first few months back from college, he expresses his containment of details when trying to describe to his parents his experiences. Rodriguez struggles with trying to make his parents understand the true level of education he is receiving. He can’t have a conversation with his family with what he is excited or stressed over because of their lack of interest, so that in return causes him to stray towards his teacher and classroom involvements.

 I can connect so strongly with Rodriguez in this part of his life because I also seem to be isolated from my family in certain academic areas. My mom has always tried to make me have a better education than she ever got close to having. So I have always had my family’s support they have always tried to understand what my academic frustrations were however they were never able to truly recognize it. My personal issue with trying to express to my family what I struggle with is true language and communication. I battle with our language difference. My lack of Spanish inheritance has prevented me from passing certain levels of intimacy with my family life. After reading Rodriguez’s experience I can connect to the different true sacrifices of being a “scholarship boy”.

“When I was in high school, I admitted to my mother that I planned to become a teacher someday. That seemed to please her. But I never tried to explain that it was not the occupation of teaching I yearned for as much as it was something more elusive: I wanted to be like my teachers, to possess their knowledge, to assume their authority, their confidence, even to assume a teacher’s persona” (Rodriguez, 522). I found true inspiration while reading this stanza. Although, I do see significance with Freire’s theories within what Rodriguez is saying, I see the true thirst for wanting to be captivated by knowledge and wanting to make more out of what others seem to settle for. Wanting to exceed the standard satisfaction, of following a certain path to lead to a designated area which you have already set in stone you will reach with education. Rodriguez shows in this quote that he wants knowledge to steer him towards his future, his success, his achievement in desire.

       There was a statement within Rodriguez’s essay that immediately reminded me of Freire, Rodriguez states “He has used education to remake himself [Rodriguez]” (Rodriguez, 528). As Freire claims that the banking concept of education causes students to conform to the society that oppressors have constructed and act through their teachings in the classroom. This results in no transformation within the students and therefore causing the loss of individuality and creativity. I feel in ways that education to Rodriguez was the outlet away from his home distractions so it veered him to follow his classrooms regulations and conformity. I feel in ways I myself have altered my life towards education and just like Rodriguez was pushed towards reaching success by my family’s misfortunes.

       Rodriguez ends his essay by finally accepting his regrets and realizing that what he had been trying to avoid –his desire for his past, the closeness and immediacy of his family interactions. Rodriguez sees the how much his trust of the silence within his books as well as the abstract alienation that he placed at home has caused his neglect the desire to live his life with his family. Ambition set Rodriguez apart and he now realizes that what he has been dreading during his academic life has lead him to reach the “end of education” (Rodriguez, 532).